Category Archives: Fun stuff

Brake the Cycle

A couple of weeks ago I came across Brake the Cycle, a touring company that organise adventures combining bicycles, caring about the planet, eco-communities and permaculture, with helping individuals find a new healthier and happier path in life. What better way to do that than on a bike? In short it’s all the sort of thing I’m passionate about, in trying to practise a more balanced, sustainable, and connected to nature lifestyle.

Here’s a video from their website that’s really making me look forward to touring again a bit later this year; I’m hoping to pedal down the Wild Atlantic Way in Ireland.

You can check out there website here – www.brakethecycle.xyz

If you’re thinking about giving cycle touring a go, but a bit nervous and would like to do it with a group of like-minded individuals, then I’d recommend checking them out. They organise tours in the UK, such as Lands End to John O’Groats and an Odyssey in Wales, to pedalling round Spain or Greece. And they’ll carry your luggage for you! A great way to see new places, make new friends, and experience the joys of cycle touring in a sustainable way.

I recently wrote a guest blog post for them, which you can read here – www.brakethecycle.xyz/single-post/bikearoundBritain

Incidentally I have no commercial connection to this website, I just really like what they’re trying to do and may well get a few friends to join me on one of their tours.

I’ve also copied in the blog post below, as I really enjoyed writing this one, and want to keep it for posterity.

Bike around Britain by James Harvey
Riding a bike. I don’t think I could do without it now. I get grouchy if I haven’t cycled for a couple of days. If I have to use my car to commute the day is definitely worse for it. On my 10 mile ride to work I see people stuck in their vehicles, looking grumpy, frustrated, bored, and disconnected from the world outside their sterile, sealed metal boxes.

Wouldn’t it be brilliant if more people used their bike to get to work? There are so many benefits to be gained from a regular pedal: mental and physical health, fitness, saving money, and less pollution. It’s actually quicker in towns, and you can eat more cake without worrying too much about the calories. You’re closer to the natural world too — not separate from it like so many people seem to be these days. As we move into Spring and everything starts waking up there’s more to see, smell, listen to and experience whilst pedalling.

Snowdrop covered bank

Take the path less travelled

Cycling several times a week also means that when it comes to your next cycle tour your legs are better prepared for it, although it’s one of those hobbies where you really can get fit on the job. I started cycle touring properly in 2013, when a major life event made me re-evaluate what’s important. I took some time out and decided, fairly randomly, that I’d cycle around the coast of Britain. Why wait until you retire to start adventuring? You never know what’s going to happen. If you have the chance to do something different, to pursue something out-of-the ordinary you’ve always wanted to do, then go for it, ‘brake the cycle’ and take that first step out of your front door. Every step after that is easier. One of my favourite quotes, from Henry Rollins reflects all this:

‘No such thing as spare time
No such thing as free time
No such thing as down time
All you got is life time. Go!’

I didn’t especially know what I was doing when I set off round the coast. I bought a bike I’d been reliably informed was decent for touring, as well as camping equipment I could fit on it, and a whole  host of other bits and pieces I thought I might need. Once I’d packed my panniers I mounted my trusty steed, and gently tumbled onto the grass outside my house. It appeared I might have to cut down on what were going to be my worldly possessions for the next three months. That was the start of realising you really don’t need much to be happy. In fact, from what I’ve observed, the more people have the less happy they often are. You meet a lot of people when touring, whether it be in Britain, or in more remote places (for us) such as Albania, Scandinavia or Turkey. The friendliest and most content people I’ve met are often those that seem to have the least, from a material possession point of view; I’d argue they probably have the much more from a spiritual and non-material angle.

Starting from Norwich and heading to Lowestoft, on the East coast of Britain, before turning North, getting fitter as I went. I almost immediately had a crash on a Norfolk coastal path, when I discovered loaded touring bikes don’t cope well with sand. This wouldn’t be the last ‘stunt’ of the tour.

It didn’t really take very long to get to Scotland, however it took a me a disproportionate amount of time to get round the coast of that glorious country. There are so many ins-and-outs, up-and-downs, sideways then back up bits. Thankfully on a coastal tour it’s quite hard to get lost, all you have to do is keep the sea on one side, and in Scotland there aren’t a lot of roads to choose from when you get beyond Edinburgh. Another Scottish bonus is you can wild camp as long as you’re sensible and respectful, so finding a place to rest wasn’t hard.

Wild camping on the shores of Loch Fyne

Wild camping on the shores of Loch Fyne

I always get asked what my favourite bits of a tour are, and it’s often hard to pick one. I know that the journey is definitely more important that the destination — the latter often being a bit of an anti-climax after all the adventures along the way. On my 2013 Bike around Britain tour I can definitely say Scotland was my favourite bit, aside from the midges which will eat you alive if you’re not careful. The coastline is amazing, especially the West Coast, and then there’s Orkney where I immediately felt at home,  and Skye and Mull which are quite different from the mainland. The wildness of Cape Wrath where I camped next to the lighthouse and ate fresh wild Atlantic salmon was amazing, and I’ll never forget cycling over the Bealach na Ba pass from Applecross, up the steepest ascent in the UK, then descending carefully down the other side with my brakes smoking. That’s feeling alive.

Bealach na Ba

Bealach na Ba

Eventually it was time to leave Scotland and cross back into England, via Gretna Green. That in itself was a culture shock after weeks in relative wilderness; coach loads of Japanese and Chinese tourists greeted me as I pedalled through, and I suddenly had to contend with roundabouts and traffic lights again, a rarity in the highlands. Then it was on to Wales which turned out to be, whilst beautiful, very wet and windy. In fact it mostly rained for all of Wales, but you get used to that kind if thing whilst cycle touring, as well as dirt and mud; my theory is your skin is waterproof, so all good. A few local cyclists I met on the road bought me the odd meal, or a pint, which kept motivation levels up.

When you’re on a long cycle tour you’re much more in touch with the natural environment you’re in, especially if you’re camping most of the time. You become attuned to the daylight hours as well as the weather, and are definitely very much a part of nature, rather than disconnected from it. On your bike you spot things you’d never see in a car, and meet people you’d never normally speak to. They’re interested because you’re on a loaded touring bike and they want to know where you’ve been and where you’re going ; this can often lead to free meals! You rest when you’re tired, eat when you’re hungry, and take a diversion to see something interesting if the notion takes you. I’d challenge anyone not to feel less-stressed after a week or two of that.

 

Cycle touring - enjoy spectacular sunsets in nature's embrace

Cycle touring – enjoy spectacular sunsets in nature’s embrace

The funny thing was as soon as I rode to the other side of the Severn Bridge it stopped raining. I could look back into Wales and it was still cloudy on the other side of the Severn, however I was now in sunshine. Wales is damp, lovely country, but damp.

The South West was another highlight, although the hills were steeper than in any other part of the tour; I didn’t have to get off and push until I got to Devon. I rode to Land’s End on a wonderful sunny day, completing a rather long and unconventional John O’Groats to Lands End (‘Jogle’) trip. I laid back in the heather and dozed for a bit, listening to the waves crashing against the rocks far below. The sound of the sea, my constant companion for the three months of my  tour, is always relaxing and trance-inducing.

Lands End - listening to the sea

Lands End – listening to the sea

Along the South Coast it got a lot busier, but remained entertaining, with the odd ferry to catch over inlets and estuaries. There was more regular supply of ice-cream, and friends joined me along the way to experience a bit of life on the road.  After the peace of Scotland the South East was the opposite. A more frantic pace of life as well as an increase in traffic and prices, and more opportunities to get lost. As with everywhere folks still often wanted to say hello and find out what I was doing, or to offer hospitality.

Helford - ran out of road, waiting for ferry boat

Helford – ran out of road, waiting for ferry boat

Heading North across the Thames I joined the Tour de Latitude, taking a diversion to cycle to the music festival. It proved to be an excellent decision, a chance to catch up with a few friends and ease tired muscles, before heading back to the coast to finish the circuit back in Lowestoft, and home to Norwich.

I learnt so much about myself and the UK on that tour. Since then I’ve continued to go on adventures on my bike, including a six month pedal around Europe in 2015, taking in Nordkapp, Tarifa and Istanbul. But there really isn’t any need to leave  Britain to get away from it all, reconnect with nature, and try something new. We have so much on our own doorstep to enjoy, learn about and be part of.

You have a lot of time to mull things over whilst you’re pedalling. In the last two hundred years we’ve grown more and more apart from the natural world, somehow forgetting about it, or believing we’re above other species on this planet. There’s a constant pressure for growth, whether that be population, industrial, agricultural or economic, which is at odds with the finite resources we have access to, as well as our own wellbeing. I can’t help wondering if a lot of the mental health issues we experience today are caused by the realisation, by all of us at some level, that things aren’t right at the moment. Getting on your bike, whether that be for you daily commute to work or to take up touring, is a great way to start reconnecting with the world, to start working out what’s important, and to bring more contentment and satisfaction into your life.

People always seem to ask me what I’m going to do or where I’m going to go next? I ask, where are you going next?

“Alice: Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
The Cheshire Cat: That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.
Alice: I don’t much care where.
The Cheshire Cat: Then it doesn’t much matter which way you go.
Alice: …So long as I get somewhere.
The Cheshire Cat: Oh, you’re sure to do that, if only you walk long enough.”

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

James Harvey is a keen cyclist and advocate of two wheels for wellbeing. Find out more about his 2013 tour (with routes) here: www.bikearoundbritain.com. You can find James sharing his thoughts on the wonderfully titled www.selfpropelled.life and follow home on Twitter here @jam_har

 

Pedaling into 2018

Recently I’ve been pondering the terms ‘growth’, and ‘progress’, when they’re used to describe our aspirations as a race, in the developed ‘Western’ world anyway. It’s weird how we seem to think of progress and growth as building more, and consuming more of our finite resources. Is that really progress? It doesn’t seem to make that many people more content with their lot, or healthier, mentally or physically. If anything it just seems to create more problems.

We always have to pursue economic growth, but surely infinite economic growth is impossible when you have finite resources, and an economy that is based on using them. I think a different model is needed if we’re to really progress and grow as a species.

I’ll write a more structured blog on this in the near future. I might include some thoughts on the new Norwich Northern Distributor road, which as far as I can tell is just there to open up the countryside to more development, more ‘growth’. It’ll mean the closure of at least two of the roads I cycle down to get to and from work, which will no doubt mean more traffic channelled on to fewer roads, with more drivers getting annoyed with ‘bloody cyclists’. I’ve tried to find out some more information about new cycle paths the council might have planned to help cyclists get into Norwich safely, but haven’t found anything concrete yet. I fear I may have to pedal a slightly longer and more congested route, but will reserve judgement pending further investigations.

Rather than saying any more on the subject now, I thought I’d share a few photos from my January cycling, either from the commute, or the occasional excursion in search of pie and cake. A lot of people seem reluctant to get out during the winter months, however with the right kit it’s absolutely fine, and often more peaceful on the quieter roads. One just has to stay alert for any icy patches; might have done a couple of inadvertent stunts recently.

It’s great seeing the countryside change throughout the year. The tree branches are bare at the moment, but will soon start to bud, shutting away secrets that are currently in plain site.

And it’s time for snowdrops to appear in abundance. Lots of them on my route to work. I’m looking forward to seeing the bluebells once Spring arrives.

I pedalled home from work illuminated by the light from the blue super-moon the other day, an impressive site. My new camera phone took surprisingly good pics of it; I can use one of these for a cover on one of my short stories.

I’ve set a target of 5,000 miles (8,000km) cycling this year, which should be possible seeing as I regularly pedal 100 miles a week just on the commute. I’ll probably go for another tour in the summer or autumn for a couple of weeks, perhaps heading up to Derbyshire and over to Wales; route to be confirmed, maybe Europe instead. In the meantime I’ve been getting out at the weekend a bit, most recently up to Holt to grab a pasty and cake from Byfords. Bywords is a must visit for any hungry cyclist in the area.

My route from Salhouse across to Holt was on very quiet country roads, taking in the now closed RAF Coltishall, somewhere I don’t think I’ve been since I was a few months old (felt quite weird). It has rained an awful lot recently, meaning many of the roads have large puddles, or lakes as was the case below. I took the plunge and managed to forge through to the other side, about 30 metres away, without sinking into a pothole.

Just how far does the 'puddle' go on for?

Just how far does the ‘puddle’ go on for?

I think I might have to create an album of the churches I pass whilst out on my bike. I’m not particularly religious, but do like churches; their architecture and the often peaceful atmosphere surrounding them is attractive. These two are close to where I live, although there are dozens more, a legacy of Norfolk’s rich farming past and all the landowners competing via the medium of church building.

To close, here are a few cartoons I came across recently and thought were spot on, courtesy of @cartoonralph (you can follow them on Twitter). I think they accurately portray how disconnected we’ve become from nature, when we should be part of it, not set ourselves aside or above (there’s a blog to be done on deep ecology at some point too). The centre of the universe one is too true when it comes to our sense of entitlement as a race.

Enjoy the winter months and keep on pedalling!

Derbyshire wanderings

With holiday to use up, mainly due to poor planning on my part, I visited relatives in Derbyshire last week and had the chance for a wander through Dovedale, in the Peak District.

Dovedale, not far from Ashbourne, is a fantastic limestone gorge where you can walk alongside the river up to Milldale, or take various other paths to surrounding villages and other interesting spots. I haven’t been there since I was a kid, and remember crossing the stepping-stones with some trepidation the first time around. This time one of the stepping-stones had slipped downriver, so a less hazardous but rather boring bridge crossing was required.

The path to Milldale winds alongside the river, and is relatively flat with only a few ups and downs. There are lots of caves to explore should you have the urge; I don’t know the history of the area very well however one can imagine people must have lived in them for thousands of years. I liked Reynard’s Cave, although it seems a little big for foxes.

It was a bit of a dull day, but that really didn’t matter and probably meant it was a lot quieter than in the height of the tourist season, making for a very peaceful walk. I spotted quite a few dippers flitting about on the river, a few wrens and an inquisitive robin, and a yellow wagtale.

I passed various funky geological features including Ilam’s Rock, which I forgot to take a picture of as Lobster wanted his picture taken on the bridge, the 12 Apostles rocks, the Lion’s Head rock, the Dove Holes, all worth exploring more and it looks like a great climbing area too.

I’ve been watching a few of the old films we made for It’s A Trap recently, and couldn’t help thinking the area would make a wonderful location for some filming, probably involving Orcs or something; bit of a Tolkien landscape really.

After about 3 miles I reached Milldale, encountering only a handful of other walkers on the way. It’s a good spot for some lunch, although I did get swarmed by Mallards and one bit my finger; worse than piranhas!

I always think Mallards sound like they’re laughing at you. These were some of the boldest ducks I’ve ever encountered, even stooping to plunge their beaks into my rucksack in search of sandwiches whilst my back was turned; Lobster was no help whatsoever incidentally.

There’s a lovely poem on the information boards in Milldale, written by an eleven year old in 2003. I think it captures the spirit of the dale perfectly.

MAGICAL DOVEDALE
The water chuckles and giggles over weirs,
Then the bobbing dipper disappears.
The wrens and goldcrest dart along the riverside,
Above the spires the clouds do glide.
Ilan Rock looks down on Pickering Tor,
While mosses and ferns creep over the floor.
Across the Stepping Stones we tread,
Look! That Rock shaped like a lion’s head.
The ducks dip under, just showing a tail,
And this is my magical spirit of Dovedale.

After lunch I wandered back down the gorge, passing a few logs studded with old coins, where people must have made wishes. I stopped and added my own.

At the entrance to Dovedale stands Thorpe Cloud, an isolated limestone hill rising some 287m above sea level. Again I hadn’t been up it since I was a kid, so proceeded to clamber the grassy path, being careful not to slip down the steep slopes as one of my aunts did as a child, breaking bones apparently. In fact quite a few of my relatives seem to have accidents of one sort or another here, mainly involving the stepping-stones; I’m wondering if there was sherry involved.

Nothing like a good walk in beautiful countryside, maybe involving a few hills, to bring a little perspective and peace. Back at work now, but at least the morning cycle ride takes in some countryside; looking good in the frost.

Frosty morning bike ride

Frosty morning bike ride

Only a couple of weeks until Christmas holiday starts!

 

Wayland Woods

As less is sometimes more, here are a few photos from a wander in the woods today. There is definitely an autumnal feel in the air, however the countryside is still rich things to forage and spot. I even saw an owl gliding across the road on my way back to Norwich, too quick for a photo but always a spectacular sight.

Jack-in-the-Pulpit...I think...and a bit poisonous so not good forage

Jack-in-the-Pulpit…I think…and a bit poisonous so not good forage

After a hectic week at work a walk in the woods is always good for relaxation purposes, and I hadn’t been to Wayland Woods, near Watton, before. The woodland is allegedly where the ‘Babes in the Wood’ legend comes from; this involves murdered children and not some kind of carry-on episode. Perhaps this is why the forest is sometimes also known as the Wailing Woods…

Beech trees providing a glorious canopy

Beech trees providing a glorious canopy

The woodland dates back to the last ice age, and is recorded in the Doomsday book. The name Wayland Woods may also be derived from ‘Waneland’, the Viking name for a place of worship. Wandering around this vestige of ancient woodland it’s easy to imagine sprites and fey folk living there, although I think the ones I saw were probably just squirrels eating the abundance of hazelnuts.

The wood has been managed for centuries as a Hazel coppice, however there are a lots of other trees to see including oak and ash, beech and birch, and a several others I didn’t immediately recognise. With coppicing you get some areas that have been recently cut back, providing hazel poles for various purposes including preventing river bank erosion, and other areas where the hazel is dense, the light is shut out, shadows linger, and sound is muted. In these quieter spots it’s easier to imagine the Babes in the Woods legend might be true.

Nature provides a mini swimming pool, or drinking bowl

Nature provides a mini swimming pool, or drinking bowl

The woodland is smaller than I thought it wood be, and probably once covered a far greater area. We need to do all we can to preserve these last remaining areas of ancient woodland, to help maintain biodiversity, and to offer quiet spots for a relaxing walk. Wayland Woods has recharged my batteries ready for the week ahead, after which I should have the opportunity for a few days off here and there, and perhaps a few mini cycling adventures.

Troll Hunting

I was going to write a blog with some post referendum thoughts. Some musings on how we have to be careful we don’t make the decline of the UK, recession and doom a self-fulfilling prophecy, and commenting on the general air of insanity, panic, vitriol and political nonsense that seems to have gripped the nation recently…

…but it’s my birthday and I want to focus on happier things.

After work today I went for a pedal through the Norfolk countryside, enjoying the sunshine, nature, smells of summer and mental freedom elicited through just going for a bike ride. Sometimes it’s nice to let your imagination run wild, and regress to a child-like state-of-mind, something us adults probably don’t do enough.

It’s amazing how your sense of smell can evoke such powerful memories. Today the smell of recently cut grass took me back to seemingly endless childhood summers, helping in the garden, exploring the countryside and going on adventures, or just lying in the sunshine and spending time with family. A wonderful period of life that was, of course, taken for granted at the time, but which truly were the moments when you were most free, as a child, with none of the burdens of adult life and responsibility.

So for a couple of hours this evening I left my adult mind behind, and entered the world of pretend. I stopped worrying about anything else and lived in the moment, letting my imagination do whatever it wanted too.

It’s a liberating feeling, and something I find easier to do when pedalling. Something about the motion of the bike, combined with mild exercise and being out in the countryside helps you enter a somewhat meditative state. You can let you mind relax, take some deep breaths and try to switch your head from rushing from one task to the next, to a more creative and playful place. The feelings of stress that can build up over the day or week just vanish.

So if you get the chance, go and have some play-time, and hunt some trolls. With all the mental health issues going on at the moment, maybe that’s what everyone needs.

Caveat: No trolls were harmed in the making of this blog, and any inferences to anti-social or violent troll behaviour is purely speculative. I’m sure most trolls are very nice, once you get to know them.

 

 

The Brexit Bomb

The following story is a work of fiction. I thought it would be interesting to think about what the UK, Europe and wider world could look like in a few years time. Who’s to say what will actually happen, it’s very hard to predict with any degree of accuracy, however I do know that within my circle of friends and peers there is a very real fear surrounding the consequences of leaving the EU. I hope at the very least this ‘story’ provokes people already decided on voting to leave, into considering an alternative viewpoint. I hope the events described below don’t come to pass. I’m not scare-mongering, just considering consequences, and writing a story. I wish more people would consider consequences, based on actual research and not unfounded fears of what might happen, or what’s causing alleged issues in our country today.

The Brexit Bomb
It’s cold. And dark. The roads are clogged up with slush again, stained brown by the polluted air. At least we don’t have to worry about global warming any more, that’s one positive, if you can call anything positive that’s happened over the last few years. I’m pretty sure we’re also in the clear on excess immigration, not many people want to move here now, of those that are left anyway. I’d laugh, but it hurts.

Whoever decided to give the UK populace a referendum on leaving the EU should be locked up and the key thrown away. We were no way qualified to make such a decision. Isn’t that what we elected members of parliament to do, advised by ranks of actual experts? I don’t think we can lock them up anyway; think they bought it when the Houses of Parliament burnt to the ground in the riots of 2018.

The referendum did one good thing. It actually got people out voting, and certainly got people interested in politics for a little while. Unfortunately the media and certain politicians spouting nonsense, on both sides of the argument, left voters believing things that simply weren’t true, or with an ill-informed and skewed view of reality.

Looking out of the window now I can see a small group of children playing under the skeletons of long dead trees. They’re young, hungry, and will probably only live into their thirties. They’ve never known anything different. I wonder which way their grandparents voted and if they had the slightest inkling of the path they were leading us down.

Voting day seemed to arrive quickly after months of speculation, with the Leave and Remain campaigns trying to sway the proletariat one way or the other. The polls were roughly even, with no-one knowing which way things would go. Politicians, leaders of commerce, historians, scientists, Nobel prize winners, and leaders of other countries had all voiced their opinions one way or the other. To this day I don’t know why a lot of folks ignored the statements being made on the risks of leaving the EU. These statements were made by highly educated, well-respected and experienced individuals. People instead chose to believe certain tabloid newspapers run by narcissistic idiots only interested in their own agendas, as well as unhinged politicians or public figures spouting badly if at all researched nonsense that only served to play on people’s fears, identifying the wrong causes for alleged problems.

I do wonder if things would have been any different if the vote had gone the other way. I suppose we’ll never know.

We woke up on 24 June 2016, in my moderately sized family home in Derbyshire, to the news that Britain had voted to leave the EU. It wasn’t even that close a vote in the end, with 59% of people voting to leave. It makes me furious even now to think how stupid we all were. I say we all were, as even if you voted to remain in the EU you probably bear some responsibility for not calling to account the voices lying about why we should leave, or doing more to assuage the fears of those voting to leave, or undecided up until the last-minute.

Writing this is giving me a headache, and unfortunately I think I’ve run out of medicine. Medicine and food, along with a whole host of other things including clean water, is in short supply these days. The regional government is doing it’s best, but there really aren’t that many options when your growing season is limited, and anything you do produce is likely to be contaminated. We hear stories that other countries might be doing a bit better, but comms are limited and even if they could help they’re unlikely to want to, seeing as we were the butterfly that casually flapped it’s wings, setting off a whole chain of catastrophic events.

To begin with the Leavers celebrated, and even those who voted to Remain were carried along in the tide of euphoria that swept the country. There was a feeling that maybe things would be better now, after all 59% of the population couldn’t all be wrong could they? We’d get back control of our country, reduce immigration, give our businesses more chance to thrive, get rid of all those petty rules made by EU bureaucrats, rules that had no place in the UK, etc etc

Unfortunately that kind of relied on our own government being clever, and the arguments for leaving the EU being true. It turns out they weren’t, and the euphoria was pretty short-lived.

Other countries even jumped on the bandwagon carrying out their own EU exit referendums, with the Netherlands quickly voting to leave, and several others on the borderline. The big shock was Germany voting to leave a year and a half later, as a wave of nationalism swept the country in the wake of the migrant crisis. The death knell for the EU was surely sounding.

Before all that things almost immediately started to go wrong for the UK. We still had a couple of years before we actually left the EU, as it would take ages to disentangle ourselves, but investors began to pull out of UK businesses straight away, deeming it too risky in an already shaky global economy.  The pound started to slide, which in theory could have increased our exports, but our manufacturing industry wasn’t exactly what it had been. London, the once financial centre of the world, was relegated down into the doldrums as the markets and money moved elsewhere. To be fair our politicians tried their damnedest to get us new and improved trade deals, and to capitalise on our new-found ‘freedom’ in a whole host of other areas, but it just didn’t work, as the principles we’d voted to leave on were wrong. It took us quite a long time to realise we were completely stuffed, and by that time it was too late as we’d actually left. I don’t think we could have stayed in anyway as the Prime Minister had promised to abide by the referendum decision.

This water really does taste quite disgusting with the puritabs in it. Still, it’s better than the water they’ve got over in East Anglia; hardly anyone lives there now after the wind blew the toxic clouds in. We keep hoping things will get better again, but I have to admit I’ve been feeling low recently, especially after the flu swept through the city taking many of the young, old or infirm in its wake. We just don’t have the support services anymore.

Where was I? Ah yes, the economy crashed and we entered another recession. We tried to make more trade deals, and did so but had to sign up to freedom of movement within the EU, and compliance with lots of other rules around manufacturing and worker’s rights; the latter was probably a good thing the rate the government was going. In fact we were forced to abide by most of the rules we’d been party to before. People said we should have traded outside the EU more, but it’s simple question of geography; you trade more with countries closer to you.

As we were locked into lots of EU rules anyway, immigration didn’t change, not in the shorter term. To be honest I’m not sure it would have changed even if our politicians had done a better job, as at least 50% of immigrants came from outside the UK in the first place. It was lucky we still had immigration as we relied on a lot EU workers to prop up our crumbling economy, and key services like the NHS. That changed in the longer term though, as the pound continued to slide and things got worse, making Britain a pretty unattractive place to move to.

After we left Scotland held another referendum on their independence, citing that even though economically there was a risk, as North Sea oil revenues were low, they would still be better off in the EU. This time they were successful and quickly exited the UK. Wales started to consider doing the same but never really got the chance. There was talk of the North of England wanting out, and the black flag of Cornwall flying again. The UK was dying, and we considered emigrating to Scotland to try to escape the worst of the recession, and ensuing madness as people got desperate, and eventually really desperate.

Taxes rose, austerity policies continued. The UK’s credit rating dropped meaning the cost of borrowing increased, and in some cases people would no longer lend to us. The government cut back on all spending on environmentally responsible initiatives, something they could do without EU restrictions. This caused a lot of upset amongst the Greens, but to  be honest everyone was too pre-occupied by other worries to pay much attention to the dangers of climate change. Inflation rose along with unemployment and discontent, with extremist and right wings views becoming mainstream as people looked for someone else to blame.

Things got really bad in 2021, with mass riots and violence on the streets. Some towns and cities turn into war zones as rival communities from different ethnic backgrounds kicked off against each other. London was largely spared until the autumn of 2021, but then the touch-paper was lit when someone discovered that allegedly some Tory ministers were embezzling public funds. That’s when the Houses of Parliament burnt down and many were killed before order was restored. Martial law was enacted in several areas after that, until things calmed down. No-one really seems to know what happened to the Royal Family, but they’ve disappeared.

And what was going on in Europe whilst the UK was committing suicide? Things weren’t a lot better there. With the EU destabilised Russia took its chances. They’d already annexed the Crimea and large swathes of Ukraine, and now marched into Latvia, threatening to continue into Lithuania and Belarus. Lack of coherency in the EU made a response slow and indecisive. NATO wanted to act, especially under the steering hand of President Trump and the United States, but the threat of nuclear retaliation by the Kremlin stalled any action. There were also rumours surfacing, which were mostly put down to conspiracy theories, that there was a Russian mole in the UK government, in a position of some significance. Some people claimed the mole had been behind much of the Leave campaign, steered in the background by Russia, and that even now they were continuing to cause confusion and spread lies, leading to an ineffectual UK, or should we say England.

In hindsight it would have been better just to leave Russia to it, not that what was left of the UK had much choice in the matter. In the end Trump acted without the full consent of NATO, moving US Naval vessels and an aircraft carrier into the Baltic. It’s still unclear exactly what happened, but things rapidly went from warm to hot, with a nuclear device taking out the US fleet. Russia claimed it was the action of a rogue commander, which no-one really believed. Europe dithered, but Trump didn’t launching a retaliatory strike. Before people finally saw sense several nuclear explosions had gone off, both in Europe, Russia and the US, with huge numbers of casualties on both sides. President Trump was killed in the exchange, and the US is now facing its own unity challenges, but news is so scarce from that side of the Atlantic, at least publicly, who knows what’s really going on.

That was all several years ago now, but we’re still locked in a nuclear winter with little respite, even though no nuclear weapons actually detonated on the UK mainland. Plenty of people have died anyway was a result of the fallout, further civil unrest, famine and disease, but I think we’re better off than a lot.

I’m tired, really tired, and sick. I’ve lost most of my hair now, and think the cancer has spread. You’d have hoped that over the course of centuries humanity would have learned from its mistakes, and become slightly more sophisticated in its thinking, but it seems we’re doomed to failure again and again. Hopefully anyone reading this in the future might learn something from it, and who knows, we might evolve yet. For now I’m opting out, I’ve had enough…over and out world.

THE END

That was a bit depressing, but one has to ask is it that far-fetched? I think I’ll go and read up a bit more on the pros and cons on both sides of the argument. I hope everyone else does too, seeing as we’ve been granted the responsibility of deciding our own fate.

 

May Day Bluebells and a modern day mystery

Come Spring and May Day every year I undertake a pilgrimage of sorts, along with thousands of others, to enjoy one of nature’s finest gifts; a woodland landscape carpeted in Bluebells. There’s nothing quite like seeing the forest floor come alive with violet-blue flowers, whose sweet smell tantalize your olfactory sense.

This year I took a trip up to Foxley Wood, just up the road from me in Norfolk, which is famous for its Bluebells and consequently busiest in late April and early May. It’s still a big enough wood to try to get lost in though, whilst avoiding any trampling of flowers of course.

As soon a you start looking more closely one notices all sort of things hidden amongst the Bluebells, from buzzing bees laden with heavy pollen sacs, to lots of other insect life, and other wild flowers such as Celandines, Wood Anenomes, Stitchwort, Primroses, Wood Sorrel and rare orchids.

If you’re lucky and patient enough, I’m told you might even spot the odd faerie, especially around May Day, however pretty sure it’s a butterfly in the picture below. It’s easy to imagine faerie kingdoms nestling amongst the gnarled trunks of some of the trees.

There’s still plenty of time to take in the Bluebells yourself, in a woodland near you; it’s a very good way of relaxing. The viewing season usually lasts until the end of May, however it started a bit earlier this year, no doubt due to a warm winter, so will probably end earlier as a result.

If you do go down to the woods, and take your dog, please don’t add to one of life’s modern-day mysteries. I prefer the old mysteries, like how were the pyramids built, or what was Stonehenge used for, or Atlantis. I really dislike the modern-day mystery of why some dog owners will bag up their dog poop, but then choose to throw it in a bush, or hang it, almost artfully in its plastic sack, from a tree…why?! Just…why?!